EDITOR'S NOTE: "The Chutzpa!" is a new satire column written by accomplished Israeli Messianic satirist Tal Lecks. Please note that the content of this article is fictional, and is meant as a light-hearted way of looking at the very real threats surrounding us.
Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas is finally ready to launch his long-awaited return to the stage. Sponsored by the State of Israel, Abbas will be going on tour across Europe, performing such hits as 'Like 72 Virgins', 'Al-Quds, Al-Quds' and 'Hit Me Bibi One More Time.'
Abbas stated in a recent interview that he is unfazed by rumors of him lip-syncing in concert, while back-up band Hamas are doing the actual singing. Unlike singer Lenny Kravitz, who recently canceled his show in Israel, Abbas said that he would be happy to perform in Jerusalem, but refused to guarantee that he would leave the city after the show.
Abbas’ band, The PLOs, started as a folk band led by renowned performer Yasser Arafat, known best for his ability to use completely different lyrics for the same song depending on whether he was singing in Arabic or English. Abbas began his career playing bass for The PLOs, never aspiring to much more, but Arafat’s sudden death and the imprisonment of popular guitarist Marwan Barghouti forced the dutiful Abbas to take the lead.
Music critics all agree that Abbas’ ascendance resulted in a subtle shift in the band’s musical genre from folk to country.
Abbas and The PLOs are performing now in a town near you!
Tal Lecks' commentaries will become a weekly feature on the Israel Today website, and he will be writing a full satire column in our print magazine. Don't miss out - Subscribe Now!