Purim by UN Standards

Wednesday, March 23, 2016 |  Tsvi Sadan

Were the United Nations around at the time, the festival of Purim that commemorates the events of the Book of Esther would never have made it into the Bible, and here’s why:

  • Ahasuerus (Xerxes), the Persian king, is the kind of guy who would throw feminists like Gloria Steinem in jail, if not worse;

  • The execution of Haman is cruel and inhumane. The death penalty is barbarism;

  • Mordechai is guilty of sex trafficking for giving his uncle’s daughter to pleasure the king;

  • Esther’s submissiveness undermines the achievements of the women’s liberation movement.

  • The Jewish lobby headed by Esther and Mordechai proves that Jews are planning global domination;

  • Haman’s planned “final solution” is a Jewish conspiracy;

  • Jews are committing a crime against humanity in Shushan, killing hundreds of innocent civilians;

  • Jews are lynching ten men whose only crime is being the sons of Haman;

  • Jews are racist, vindictive people who celebrate the deaths of the non-Jews they kill.

The only bright light in this otherwise unprintable book is Haman, whose brave attempt to save his country from the corrupting Jewish influence should have earned him an honorary place in the UN hall of fame.

Rumor has it that the UN Human Rights Council had recommended him for next year’s Nobel Prize for peace in an attempt to restore the reputation of this courageous human rights activist who, due to a skewed Jewish narrative, is still remembered in infamy.

PHOTO: Esther and Mordechai seen plotting a global Jewish takeover.

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