The deep crises in our lives often turn out to be the times when we encounter the deep truth; times when we discover strengths which leapfrog us forward into our destiny.
That’s exactly how it was with Jacob.
What was so special about Jacob that God called him by the new name “Yisrael,” and the Israelites collectively carry his name to this day?
When we read the stories of Jacob, we witness the formative encounters he had with God. These occurred when Jacob was on his travels. The first encounter happened when he was lonely and afraid of the future that awaited him, when he ran away from his brother into the unknown. And then on his return journey on his way back to Canaan, when his heart was again filled with fear at meeting his brother Esau.
It was precisely in these moments of terror that Jacob experienced the most powerful spiritual encounters. We have a tendency to think that powerful spiritual encounters take place when a person aims for them to occur, fasting and praying vigorously, or in various spiritual conferences, etc. But not so with Jacob. The trembling encounter was familiar ground to Jacob and many Bible heroes.
Sometimes precisely when we feel complete loneliness, we discover that we are not alone.
Precisely at the height of terror and fear, precisely at the height of feeling a failure, or feeling rejected, or abandoned; suddenly an unexplained assistance is extended toward us, an encounter with God, who restores us to life and faith. We see quite a few of our ancestors who asked to die, and precisely then God granted them an uplifting and one-of-a-kind experience. Precisely in the moments of difficulty God’s spirit rested on them.
This was the case with Moses when he cried out to God, “If You treat me like this, please kill me here and now — if I have found favor in Your sight — and do not let me see my wretchedness!” (Numbers 11:15 NKJV)
It was then that God blessed him with an uplifting experience and placed His spirit on 70 elders. This was also the case with Elijah the Prophet. He asked to die, under the Rotem bush; and then God sent him to Mount Sinai, and there revealed Himself to Elijah in the still, small voice. God appeared to both the prophet Jeremiah and to King David in times of distress, and restored their spirit. It can be the same with us. I remember difficult days when I went through crisis accompanied by feelings of deep rejection and abandonment. It was there that I felt the hand of God reaching out to save me, a hand that moved me to actions whose blessing I see to this day.
Jacob’s two encounters with God also provide us with instructive metaphors for our spiritual life. Jacob’s first encounter was in a dream with the ladder. Sometimes we experience our life as climbing a ladder.
Faith as a ladder – Step by step, day by day.
And the more we learn, the more we feel we are getting a little closer to heaven, succeeding in overcoming everyday trifles such as quarrels, struggles, feelings of insult or revenge. And the higher we go up the ladder, the more deeply we manage to understand the complexity of man. The other paradigm is Jacob’s second meeting with God by the Jabok River, wrestling, struggling.
Faith as an existential, life-or-death struggle of wrestling.
That’s what our spiritual life looks like when we are faced with doubts and hesitations. Especially when fear also enters the picture, and then we feel worse than we would like to feel, when we feel that maybe we are also less than worthy in God’s eyes. Such an experience may leave us limping, just as Jacob limped after his struggle, after wrestling with God. At the same time, in this kind of experience, we receive strength that we did not know existed.
