In a recent article I wrote about the three kidnapped young women hostages who have returned home, thank God! In the article I mentioned the verse, “The boy isn’t here! And as for me, where can I turn now?” (Genesis 37:30).

From that moment on, this verse gave me no rest. It “walked” with me in my thoughts day and night as if asking me, actually demanding, that I sit down and write down what it brought up in me. I decided to challenge myself and try to delve into additional layers of the verse and understand its broader meaning regarding the reality in which Israelis live today.

In the world of Jewish interpretation, there is a concept called “orchard – פרדס pardes” which is an acronym for 4 levels of interpretation: “literal” (or “simple”), “hinted,” “expounded,” and “secret” represented by 4 Hebrew letters. Each of the words takes us into an additional layer of the verse and the story it is talking about. I wanted to see how deep I could dive with “Pardes” into the verse mentioned above and see where and what insights it would lead me to.

I will start by mentioning that this verse was spoken by Reuben when he returned to the pit where the brothers put Joseph until they decided what to do with him. After that, Reuben went away. And when he returns, he sees that Joseph is not in the pit. In other words, the brothers decided alone, without consulting him, their eldest brother, how to deal with Joseph. And they sold him to the Ishmaelites. After that, the brothers conspired among themselves. They return to Jacob and tell him a false story – that a wild animal ate Joseph. And from that moment on, the entire family deteriorates and descends into the abyss of Sheol. Jacob enters a depressed state of mind. Judah leaves the family. And finally, the entire family is forced to go down to Egypt in order not to die of hunger. And there, surprisingly, they discover their brother Joseph again and their ascent up from the abyss begins.

The reason this family reaches these low places along the way is: denial and resistance to the truth. This is a family entangled in a web of lies. There is no mutual guarantee/support among the brothers, and jealousy and hatred prevail.

The entire family needs transformation, needs to undergo a healing process. And this indeed occurs – after the renewed encounter with Joseph, whom they had rejected and discarded and considered dead. After the family is reunited, the Book of Genesis ends and we can move on to the Book of Exodus when the 12 brothers become a nation.

The expression “The boy isn’t here! And as for me, where can I turn now?” describes a sense of loss, confusion, and lack of direction. This is a situation in which something precious and meaningful is lost, and the person finds himself helpless in the face of the question:

What now? Where do we go from here?

The literal (or simple) interpretation: Indicates that Reuben is frightened by the actions of his brothers. He understands that as the eldest brother, the responsibility lies on his shoulders. And in these words that he says from the depths of his heart, he describes the sense of loss and confusion that he experiences. And especially his helplessness and distress, in which he realizes that something important has been lost. He also knows Jacob’s great love for Joseph and understands what this incident will do to his father Jacob and what emotional upheaval it will bring him.

The hinted interpretation: At the level of hint, Reuben’s expression can be interpreted as an allusion to situations in which a person loses not only a physical thing (such as a son or property), but also his path, his faith or the meaning of his life. This may be the moment when Reuben realizes that he has lost the path in life. In other words, an allusion to an internal process of searching for direction, meaning and purpose, especially after a traumatic event.

The expounded interpretation: At this level the commentators ask: Why specifically “I”? Perhaps this emphasizes the deep sense of loneliness that Reuben felt following the loss. He never seemed to have behaved like a firstborn son anyway. Or perhaps this is the cry, why defying his destiny to be the firstborn will not succeed and the consequences of this role. The level also deals with the question: “What is the message that needs to be learned from such a situation?” Perhaps Reuven (and even the entire family) needed to rise above the pain and find new strength. As if this was a test for faith and the strength to withstand crises.

The secret interpretation: At the level of the secret, Reuben’s expression can allude to a situation in which a person disconnects from his connection to the sublime and the divine spirit. He feels torn from his spiritual mooring. “Where can I turn now?” Could this be a question of where the soul returns? And how does it find its way back to the source of life? I examined this issue in the context of the story of Reuben and Joseph. Then I came to the part that most fascinates me, the part where I look for the connection between the biblical story and our lives in Israel today. This is the part where the deep insights intensify my love for the Creator of the world. How then does this verse relate to our contemporary lives in the context of the absence of our brothers and sisters who were kidnapped and held hostage in Gaza for 15 months now?

Parallel between Joseph in captivity, and the hostages in Gaza

Israel is obligated to bring all the hostages home!

Until all of them return, down to the last one, the heavy feeling we will walk with; will be that we have lost our way and we do not know where we are coming from (like Reuben said). It will not let up. On the contrary, it will haunt us daily as it did for Jacob’s family. As long as the injustice is not corrected here, we will sink in the depths of despair. If they do not all return home, we, the children of Israel and the people of Israel, will descend into the abyss and relive the story of Joseph, who was thrown into the pit and disappeared from his family. Jacob, his father, did not know what his fate was. It took a challenging process of reconnection and reconciliation to bring them healing.

Like then, that’s what it will take for us today. Only a process of reunification with all the hostages will heal and unite us as a people. “The boy isn’t here.” This statement embodies the deep pain of families who feel helpless in the face of the unknown situation. “And as for me, where can I turn now?” This question touches on the feeling of confusion and helplessness. How do we continue from here?

What do we do to get life back on track?

This question also expresses the emotional state of the nation which feels a moral obligation to return the kidnapped but sometimes deal with a sense of helplessness in the face of the complex political and military reality. And this even reflects a feeling as if some of us are in captivity, lost and missing. This pain is not only personal but also collective. The question “And as for me, where can I turn now?” can also be expressed as a call for national soul-searching. How do we as a people deal with the pain, and with the responsibility and moral obligation to work for the return of our loved ones.

The literal (or simple) interpretation: The personal pain of the family, relatives and citizens who feel that their loved one is missing and do not know what is happening to him. This pain pierces the body and soul, and the fear of their cruel fate does not let up day or night. Our lives, just like the lives of the captives, have become shrouded in mist.

The hinted interpretation: Is the feeling of spiritual and emotional captivity, like a feeling of losing one’s way;  losing faith in life, in one’s country. There is a hint here of a renewed internal process that everyone must go through in order to rediscover a purpose for life.

The expounded interpretation: Clearly emphasizes the feeling of loneliness of the people of Israel, which has encountered so many difficulties and wars throughout its history. Who can save us from our enemies? It is a call to action, to national soul-searching. How do we unite as a people to help each other? How do we build a society that does not give up on any of its children? How do we return to a situation in which we say and believe that, “He who saves one soul, it is as if he had saved the whole world.” How do we return to and embrace the moral values ​​that have guided us throughout the history of Israel, both in the Diaspora and in this land? And what is the message that Israel should learn from this situation?

The secret interpretation: At a deeper level, we are faced with the question “And as for me, where can I turn now?” This question reflects the spiritual search of the people of Israel. Could it be that we are disconnecting from God? And perhaps there is a call here for renewed remembrance. To remember what our role is in the world? What are the values ​​that guide us, especially in times of crisis and loss? This powerful verse can therefore become the order of the hour. A call to return to our path and our faith.

Through the return of our captives, perhaps our mission can be restored, an ancient mission that speaks of being a light in the world. In order to illuminate, we must first be in the light – as individuals and as a people. And answer without bias the question of where we are going? And then act accordingly. The moment we do the right and necessary thing, our ascent will begin. Both as individuals, as a family, and as a people. The process that began with the return of the captives will only end when the last of the captives returns home, not a moment before.

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