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Must we forgive everyone?

Christianity and Judaism diverge sharply on forgiveness.

Israelis set up a candlelight memorial at Dizengoff Square in Tel Aviv to mourn the brutal assassination of American Christian commentator Charlie Kirk. Photo by Avshalom Sassoni/Flash90
Israelis set up a candlelight memorial at Dizengoff Square in Tel Aviv to mourn the brutal assassination of American Christian commentator Charlie Kirk. Photo by Avshalom Sassoni/Flash90

(JNS) At the memorial service for Charlie Kirk on Sept. 21, his widow Erika Kirk publicly forgave her husband’s killer, saying that she was following Christian practice. Would the Torah’s laws demand the same?

On Sept. 13, the conservative activist and Turning Point USA founder was assassinated by sniper fire during a debate at Utah Valley University in Orem, Utah. Tyler Robinson, a former student in a relationship with his transgender roommate, confessed in texts, “I had enough of his hatred.” Charged with aggravated murder, he faces the death penalty.

On Sunday, 90,000 people gathered in Glendale, Ariz., to honor Charlie Kirk during his memorial. Following her husband’s passing, Erika Kirk was appointed as Turning Point’s CEO. During her eulogy at the funeral, she vowed that “the cause my husband championed will endure.”

In tribute to Charlie, she declared, “I am deeply privileged to lead Turning Point USA as its new CEO. This role carries great weight. Charlie and I shared a common vision,” she stated. “His drive was my drive, and his purpose is now mine.”

She also expressed forgiveness toward the individual accused of her husband’s murder. She stated, “My husband, Charlie. He wanted to save young men, just like the one who took his life. That young man. That young man on the cross. Our Savior said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’ That man. That young man. I forgive him.”

She added, “I forgive him because it was what Christ did in his. What Charlie would do. The answer to hate is not hate. The answer we know from the gospel is love and always love. Love for our enemies and love for those who persecute us.”

Kirk seems to be echoing Christian theology, which demands absolute and unconditional forgiveness for anyone, irrespective of their evil deeds. As C.S. Lewis taught, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

Does the Torah take the same approach to forgiving evil people as Christianity? God wrote two commands in the Torah that are the basis of any discussion on this topic: “Love your neighbor as yourself (Leviticus 19:18) and “You shall not hate your brother in your heart” (Leviticus 19:17).

Maimonides codified these commands. “Each man is commanded to love each and every one of Israel as himself. Therefore, one should speak the praises of [others] and show concern for their money just as he is concerned with his own money and seeks his own honor,” he wrote. (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Deos 6:3)

The Sefer Hachinuch quoted the Talmud’s commentary (Arakhin 16b) on the verse prohibiting hatred.

“The verse is speaking about hatred in the heart. But when a person displays hatred, and the subject of the hatred is aware he is considered a hated enemy, the commandment prohibiting hatred isn’t violated. However, he does violate, ‘You shall not take vengeance and not bear a grudge.’ And he likewise violates a positive commandment, as it is stated, ‘and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Leviticus 19:18). Hatred secreted in the heart is worse than all revealed hatred, and the Torah especially warns about it.”

Maimonides wrote about the importance of forgiving those who have caused offense.

“It is forbidden for a person to be cruel and refuse to be appeased. Rather, a person should be easily pacified and slow to anger. When the person who wronged him asks for forgiveness, he should forgive him with a complete heart and a willing spirit. Even if he had aggravated and wronged him severely, he should not seek revenge or bear a grudge. This is the path of the seed of Israel and their upright spirit.” (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Repentance 2:10)

The Sefer Hachinuch argued that Judaism’s approach to hatred differs strongly from Christianity. “There is no prohibition in the hatred of the evildoers, but rather [it is] a commandment to hate them, after we rebuke them about their sin many times and they do not want to return, as it is stated in Psalms 139:21, ‘Do I not, Lord, hate Your enemies, and argue with those that come against You.’” (Sefer Hachinuch, Mitzvah 238)

Maimonides’s approach to dealing with enemies in the land also differs strongly from Christianity. “There is a commandment to annihilate the seven nations who dwelled in Eretz Yisrael as it is written, ‘You shall utterly destroy them.’ (Deuteronomy 20:17) Anyone who chances upon one of the members of the seven nations and does not kill them violates a commandment as it is written, ‘Do not allow a soul to live.’” (Deuteronomy 20:16)

“Similarly, there is a commandment to destroy the memory of Amalek, as it is written, ‘Obliterate the memory of Amalek.’ (Deuteronomy 25:19) It is also a commandment to constantly remember their evil deeds and their ambush of Israel to arouse our hatred of them, as it is written, ‘Remember what Amalek did to you.’ The Oral Tradition teaches: ‘Remember—with your mouths; Do not forget—in your hearts.’ It is forbidden to forget our hatred and enmity for them.” (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Wars and Kings 5:4-5)

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks wrote extensively about forgiveness; his words help understand the Torah’s position on the subject.

“It is sometimes said that Judaism lacks the concept of forgiveness. Occasionally, the claim is more specific: in Judaism, God forgives; people do not. This is simply not so … The Bible is a book —a library of books—about the relationship between God and human beings. It is about heaven and earth, Divine command and human response. It is not primarily about interpersonal relationships at all.

Once the Torah has established the principle of human forgiveness, which it does here in the Joseph narrative, it does not need to repeat it. Joseph does more than forgive his brothers for selling him into slavery. He wants to make sure that the brothers, especially Judah, have changed. They are no longer people capable of selling others into slavery.

The Truth and Reconciliation process established in South Africa by Nelson Mandela could only come about once apartheid had ended. It would have been absurd for the victim to forgive while the crime was still being committed or while the criminal was still unrepentant.

Christianity and Judaism diverge sharply on forgiveness. Christianity, as Erika Kirk exemplified by forgiving her husband’s killer, mandates universal, unconditional forgiveness, rooted in Jesus’s teachings of boundless love, even for enemies.

Judaism, however, conditions forgiveness on the offender’s repentance and restitution, as Maimonides outlines, emphasizing justice and accountability. While Christianity urges immediate absolution to mirror divine grace, Judaism demands discernment, mandating hatred of unrepentant evildoers, balancing compassion with moral responsibility.

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Patrick Callahan

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2 responses to “Must we forgive everyone?”

  1. G. Ian Goodson says:

    There is difference between forgiveness and trust. Forgiveness sets the forgiver free and opens the door to restoration. Restoration needs repentance to access the already present forgiveness. Trust needs to see the degree of understanding in repentance. Joseph had already forgiveness his brothers. He called his son Manasseh for God has caused him to forget the bitterness, pain, anger, injustice etc. He tested his brothers because he needed to see if they were trustworthy. That was his duty to Pharoah amongst other things.

  2. Masami Cobley says:

    Even if hatred and enmity for the murderous enemies of Israel is justified in the Scripture, Proverbs 24:17-18 (Saying 28) also warns:

    ‘Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice, or the Lord will see and disapprove and turn His wrath away from them. ‘

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